This last week of school...

...is kickin my behind. 

This is the second night this week that I've been up past 3 to finish a paper. And to top it all off, on everyday that I don't have school, I have work to worry about. Gotta love that holiday season. Sorry, I don't mean to be a Grinch. I'm sure my mood will lift as soon as I get this last history paper in. Then I just have my last English essay to do and I'm DONE DONE DONE. 

skfajlsdkfjas GOODNIGHT I'M EXHAUSTED. 

Before I shower...

It's been awhile since I last updated. So here's what has been going on:

1. Kupaul is in town from London for two weeks. I missed him a lot and he's seriously one of the nicest people I know. I can't wait for his and Ate Christine's wedding. I'm going to cry my eyes out. They give hope to long distance relationships. 

3. We had a cute cousin dinner the other night at BWW. It was seriously the cutest thing ever. It was Soul Food status. Everyone was there and you could just feel the love around the table. I can't say it enough: I LOVE MY COUSINS.

2. Thanksgiving just passed! We had our annual Turkey Bowl and it was a blast. It makes me sad that it's only a once a year thing, but at least there's always something to look forward to. I'm so thankful for the people in my life and even for those who are no longer a part of it because the helped shape who I am today. But of course, ALL my thanks goes to God. It amazes me how much he's blessed me. 

3. I experienced my first Black Friday working at Best Buy, working a 5AM to 1PM shift. MY MY MY does it get crazy in there. It was fun though, but I don't think I ever TRULY knew how it felt to be EXHAUSTED until that day. I'm STILL recovering. 

4. Me and Gene are good. Always growing, always learning, always LOVING. 

5. It's my dad's birthday today. 

6. That's it. 

Goodnight.

Hey, I have a question..

When is THIS tour gonna happen, because it would be a good one. It would probably be the best tour ever actually. The should really consider it.

So I've been pretty much doing homework and studying all day. I hate that I ALWAYS have writer's block when I need to write for life. I'm easily distracted when I study. It sucks. If only I had the Santa Maria discipline to sit myself down and do what I intended to do. *sigh* Oh well..beauty is found in the imperfections right? I just thank the Lord that I've found that someone who loves me despite my MANY imperfections. My goodness I don't know what I'd do without Gene Quiocho. 

Anyway, this Friday marks the 21st birthday of my brother-like cousin Deejay Gabriel. He is honestly one of the nicest guys I know and I pray for nothing but the best for him. He most definitely deserves it. He's one of those guys that just always makes you laugh, is always optimistic, and is NEVER caught up in petty drama. If he were a phrase he would mos def be something along the lines of "Don't worry, be happy." =) Love you Deejay Gabriel--you are definitely one of the most important men in my life--third only to my brother and Gene. 

CRACKberry..

..is dead on. I should be sleeping so I can get up early and study all day tomorrow, but instead I'm online researching all the cool things I can do with my phone. =/ Consequence of working with cell phones all day I suppose. And I think I'm subconsciously trying to prove that my cute blackberry curve is better than the Iphone/BB Bold/BB Storm. 

UGH. This is probably the geekiest post of my life. Let me change the subject to something more meaningful so I can sound less materialistic.

"Look me in the eye. 

It's okay if you're scared. 

So am I. 

But we're scared for different reasons. 

I'm scared of what I might not become. 

You're scared of what I could become." 

-KB24

say hello..

..to next year's halloween costume. Just wish I would of thought of it soon enough for this year. Oh man it's gonna be awesome. I'm posting it in here so that when I forget next year I can just look it up. =) Oh Shorty, you're awesome. 

ps. AirBud (aka. The Best Movie Ever) is on the Disney Channel right now. 

Inspire Me.

I am in desperate need to go to SOME kind of museum or be in the presence of some kind of art. I feel myself becoming jaded and just going through the motions of life and not really taking everything in. I need to start drawing/painting/sketching/writing again. It helps me to think in other ways--in color. 

Traveling would be nice as well. 

Goodnight. I have a meeting at 7:30 in the morning. UGH. Why in the WORLD does Best Buy find it ok to hire ALL college students and expect them to wake up and be at work at 7:30 in the morning? They're delusional. 

ps. It's our it's been 3 years and 10 months. 

Before I go to sleep,,,

- worrying about money is DUMB, but hard as heck not to do. "Oh Lord let this last 30 bucks last me til next NEXT friday." =/ DOUBTFUL.

- val's birthday is on thursdayyyy. "stephaine caragan" will be hitting the town with her.

- I need to get better with Him. 

- I got so used to seeing Gene everyday that one day without seeing him seems like forever. YUP it's been almost four years and we're still gay like that. 

- HALLOWEEN is on friday and me and the boyfriend have opted to be the infamous DAVID AND VICTORIA BECKHAM. cute right? yea. thanks. HIS idea. I'm excited. 

ps. i miss my best friend.

GOOD.night

"You're a smart cookie beb. The chocolate chip kind cause I like those." 

Our date nights are always nice. My favorite times in the world are just chillin with the boyfriend. 

Shooby Doo Wop and Scooby Snacks

I MISS IT.

I'll update more on the specifics of the trip later. Let's just say I didn't want to come back so soon. 

Random thoughts:

- I'm watching Cool Runnings right now and it's the part where Junior and Yule (i think that's his name) are looking in the mirror and reciting "I SEE PRIDE, I SEE POWER, I SEE A BAD MOTHER WHO WON'T TAKE NO LIP OFF OF NOBODY!" This movie is my favorite. 

- Today is Marc's birthday! The group ate at Red Robin to celebrate and I must say that "the Group" I always speak of tends to change with time and if this group changes too and some people come and go as they please again I want to say that, for the record, I love THIS group that has formed now. The Fratellanza and the Three, "Sorellanza" if we're gonna keep with the Italian theme, makes me happy. I feel a real bond with these people and I love it. 

- The San Fran trip totally took me off of my steady schoolin mode. I am now in vacay mode and can't seem to get out of it. This is evident in the fact that I have school tomorrow at 9:45 and am still awake. Oh and I have a test tomorrow, a rough draft due, and review questions to do none of which I've started or studied for. WHOMP. 

- I love him. 

Kay I'm done for now. It is a MUST that I get back to my homework. 

Oh one last thought: BEST BUY'S SCHEDULING SUCKS RIGHT NOW. =/ anyone know any place that's hiring?

all nighter with the girlies

..and in 30 minutes we are off to the bay area for a pretty AWESOME weekend. The boys are off on their Ensenada cruise and we have decided that we are not just gonna sit at home on our butts waiting for them to come back. Instead we have chosen to go on a trip of our own to the bayyyyy. I'm BEYOND excited for the cold weather, cute clothes, cable cars, and golden gate bridges that are really red. 

Wish us a safe trip. 

TONS of cute pictures to come.

and again..

I took a stroll down memory lane (like I don't do that all the time) and I stumbled across my old livejournal. Man was I a witty girl at the age of sixteen. What the heck happened? I feel so generic now. I want my witty-self back. I used to have JM and Jasmine around to bounce witty comments off of. We had THEE funniest/clever conversations. I miss it. I hope that growing up doesn't mean I lose that about myself cause I really took pride in the that characteristic of mine. Eh, I'm sure I'm just not exercising it enough. It's still there--just a little rusty. I'll get back in the habit of my one liners. 

Anyway, I gotta sleep early nowadays. I open tomorrow. =/ I feel so grown up. Bittersweet feeling.

Progress..

I'm finally feeling as if I'm finally making some of it. Earlier this year, the thought of me being able to get through it, to move forward and get on with life seemed too far fetched an idea. For the longest time I felt stuck. It was as if time had just stopped for me and I was being drowned by everything that happened. I, honestly, doubted that I'd ever be able to feel like myself again. But talking to Val last night and hearing it coming out of someone else's mouth, that we are still here and still strong, made me realize that it's happened. I survived. We survived.

"If we can survive this, we can survive anything." -G

All I can say is PRAYER WORKS. It's the only way I've managed to keep my optimism about life, to trust people again, to build friendships again, etc. God literally made me whole again and I'm forever grateful for it. 

"I like where we are right now." -R

This is cute.

..funny how true it is too.

If you couldn't already tell, this is my way of saying I miss them. But it's ok cause we grow up, but never grow apart.

returning again.

I've decided to make a blog again, not because I want everyone to read my life, but because I'm too lazy to write in a notebook and I really do have a thing for getting my thoughts out of my head. I probably won't even keep up with this..but oh well. 

This is my intro entry. =)